Lots Of Moto Jazz For You All.

The blog has been a bit thin recently I know, but hey, that's what happens when you're a man in demand like me, all I can ask is that your patient and ask your mums to stop calling me. So what I'm going to lay down here is one big ass blog post on shit that has gone down in the moto world and what could very well be the shit we is talking about next week. As MC Hammer once said "School's in suckas!" 

Mexico GP - What the fuck was this?! Everything about this race made it look like a joke and not even a funny one. It was pretty much a racial slurr on the motocross world. Dead bodies found near the track, Peoples gear, passports and money stolen, crap TV coverage, plus the whole "it's too dusty we're not going to ride the qualifying races as you pay us jack shit" thang that went down on Saturday. Good work Youthstream you cunt's! (C-bomb time check: 10:38am).

Philly was loving Mexico more than me, and most others.

Michael Lieb was one of only two riders that went out for the qualifying race, a move that disgusted the other riders so much so that a Lieb recieved constant flip offs from Clement Desalle and was even spat on by at least two other riders, including, (so i'm told) Max Anstie. C'mon guys, spitting should only be done by girls in 'jizz flicks' onto some guys wood or each others mouths (yeah you like that bitch?). Just sayin, get it together jackholes. All in all, Fuck Mexico!

Read my Breakdowns of the top 10's here: MX1   MX2

Qualifying gets underway in Guadalajara

Brazil - The track and general facility looked the absoulute tits! I was getting fed up of the tweets and comments from people about how 'Youthstream had fucked up by going to South America', now don't get me wrong, as you've just read, Mexico should have be aborted with a rusty coat hanger but for me the Brazil set up was amazing, it was just let down by the weather which as we all know can bitch slap the most organised of motocross races. Plus you know there was just loads of chicks getting their 'brazillians' out for any rider. As I said before "Chicks dig moto" Ticket's booked for next year.

Searle =Boss of Brazil

Too much?

Read my Breakdowns of the top 10's here: MX1   MX2

Switching stateside:
Hangtown happened and Stewie goes 1-1. (I guess GoPro aren't paying him as much for outdoors) So, lets just recap some comments people have batting around like swingball (remember that? what a game!) about his performance up until Hang town.

• "He's not race fit" - The Guy went 1-1 in two 30 minute motos! At the pace he was running, thats some fucking stamina right there. Guess again.
• "It's not the Yamaha it's him" - Yamaha 0 Suzuki 1-1
• "His hearts not in it" - He could have just sat out and collected a JGR pay check so fat it doesn't take it's shirt off to go swimming, but chose to forgo all that and ride for Suzuki for not much dollar. Riding for not much money? ......insert mum joke here......
• "RV, Reed and Dungey have just stepped it up" - Sure RV and Reed aren't out there so its hard to get a reading on how it COULD have gone, but then did Dungey REALLY pressure him all day? I think James had him handled, even think he could have turned it up to 11 if needed. Maybe we should ask Jason THOMAS, he got a CLOSE look. Sorry I got a bit crazy with the capitals there.

Dude was looking fresh in some new Answer gear. Look like a boss, ride like a boss! 

While Kawasaki was tearing it up in Brazil, they weren't having the best time in Sacremento. Rattray, who was riding Villopotos ride, went out after just a few laps after receiving a rock to the hand. Man up bro! You're in the 450's now, not that pussy ass lites shit. Broken hands are a standard. Dean Wilson's title defence was, just like me, finished before it even got started. Due to premature dislocation Deano will be forced to have surgery and sit out the rest of the outdoor season. Mofo will be back swinging for supercross though. Baggett did pull a bit of pride back for Kawi running 1-1 in the lites, with one of his "I'm just going to sit here in the top 10 for the first half of the race and then I'm just going to go faster than a bastard to take the lead on the last lap" rides in the first moto. Guy's a fuckin' player! Mitch will be feeding him Viagra to make him keep it up longer this year.

Oh and one more piece of breaking news! Zach Osborne will be riding for Geico Honda in 2013. Fuck yeah bro, fucking deserved. As long as he stays healthy in the off season, Zachy poo will win which ever coast he rides on. I just put that predictions teeth on the curb and stamped it!! American History X style (Racism not included).

That's about it for now, still not sure if I'll make it to Milton Park this Sunday for Round 4 of the Maxxis. If I do the tweets will be coming thick and fast. If not I'll be watching videos on the internet, cumming thick and fast. Gross!