The FIM World Motocross Championships kick off in just over a month and some of you might be thinking about travelling to a round/s. So being the solidude I am, ive made a guide to the GP's and which ones are worth going to and which one's to avoid like AIDS.
April 9th – Valkenswaard / NETHERLANDS
Always a good start to the season and a chance to visit this legendary track. At least that's what you tell the missus before you spend the weekend 88 miles up the road in amsterdam doing coke off a hookers areola. Herlings will win.
April 22nd – Sevlievo / BULGARIA
Big hills and lots of people in 1990's neon coloured sports jackets
April 29th – Fermo / ITALY
Always going to have a good atmosphere when their boy Toni is in the Mix. Cairoli will win.
May 13th – Beto Carrero / BRAZIL
The brazilian womens beach volley ball team, nuff said.
May 20th – Queretaro / MEXICO
I've seen The Three Amigos, that El Guapo dude is running that place and he's one badass mofo. I'll bust out a corona and have a burrito at home and watch it on the TV cheers boss.
June 3rd – St Jean D’Angely / FRANCE
Site of a GP and the Des Nations last year. Cool track and a chance to make a beer run!
June 10th – Agueda / PORTUGAL
Portugal in june is going to be as hot as Megan Fox riding Diana Dahlgren's strap on and dustier than your grand mothers.....you know what? I'm just gonna stop there.
June 17th – TBA
I think this is somwhere in the former Soviet Bloc. Remember CCCP at the olympics? They were amazing, what happened to them?
July 1st – Uddevalla / SWEDEN
Uddevalla looks like a good track to ride and Sweeden is home to the most unmemorable world champion of all time, Marcus Hansen. Who? Exactly.
July 15th – Kegums / LATVIA
Where?
July 22nd – Semigorje / RUSSIA
Is this a snowcross race?
August 5th – Loket / CZECH REPUBLIC
Team Belgium won the '95 des nations here. I say, drinking in Prague on the saturday, Loket on the sunday, realise that you're still pissed and never made it to the race on monday. Jager anyone?
August 19th – Matterley Basin / UK
Drinking, fighting, Tommy Searle winning. Who wouldn't want to go?
September 2nd – Lierop / NETHERLANDS
Hey Holland, you've already had one. Any chance some of Herlings family are on the the FIM committee? Herlings will win again.
September 9th – TBA
Again?
September 23rd – Teutschenthal / GERMANY
As an Englishman I should surely want to avoid this one after those wars and football matches but then I realise that was a long time ago and I'm not a fucking xenophobic dick. We're still shit at football though.
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